17 September 2009
By Amber
In Thoughts on Thursdays
“You can’t always get what you want”
(Again this is one of my own thoughts)
Marriage is about compromise, not compromising your faith or yourself, but sometimes compromising what you ‘want.’ Sometimes what you want isn’t good for the other person (just for a silly example a you want a dog but your honey is allergic.) Sometimes its not good for the couple (you want a new car but don’t have that kind of money and can’t take on another loan.) We need to work together as couples to find solutions to these kinds of situations.
Sometimes this also means giving something up. If lets say you play poker every Friday and its getting in the way of quality time with your spouse. The best plan maybe to cut down to every other week or once a month so that you still get to enjoy your friends but you also get to enjoy your spouse. Its about compromise, its hard, but its worth it to not always get your way.
15 September 2009
By Amber
In Life
…all four moles are begine! Woo Hoo all clear, the doctor was honestly surprised but that is ok with me.
I’m looking forward to a busy week with friends and a photography session ot ‘trash the dress’ it should be fun.
Amber
10 September 2009
By Amber
In Thoughts on Thursdays
“Be There”
This is my own topic my own words so it might not be magical but its what I’m feeling right now.
Since I’ve moved to MN it seems like its been one thing after the other some good others not so good.) There have been a lot of things going on in my life lately but this week has been a dozzy. Waiting for test results, Dutch, some family things, and so on. Most of these things have affected me harder than Ry but he has been amazing. He isn’t doing anything out of the ordinary he is just there for me. Last night I was sorting through pics and saw Dutch as a puppy I started to tear up again he say me and just pulled me into his chest and held. That means so much.
I know that God is someone I can ALWAYS count on but is sure is nice to have someone “with skin on” to make it real sometimes. Just listening when I’m scared or sad and holding me the rest of the time .
Be there, just be there for them. Even if you don’t understand why they need you.
09 September 2009
By Amber
In Life
I figure those of you going out of your way to read this blog are either
A) Genuinely interested in my life and what I’ve been learning or
B) Only interested in the ‘weird’ things I do.
With letter A in mind I’ve decided to post some things here that aren’t quite public knowledge yet but I want to get off my chest. These items aren’t on Facebook or Twitter just yet and I would like to keep it that way for the moment.
Its been a hard week for me, I hate waiting. Last week Friday I went to the dermatologist for my annual check up. For those of you who don’t know I’ve had a few moles removed in the past (one pre-cancer, the other was pre-cancer that came back as Basal Cell Carcinoma.) I went in feeling pretty good (which is an awesome change I’m normally nervous) and left crushed. Not only are they watching 10-15 spots that they didn’t like the removed 4 moles for biopsy. Those are the results I’m waiting for. I’m sure you can appreciate my apprehension of the word ‘cancer’ even if it is a highly and easily treatable form such as Basal Cell Carcinoma.
Second of all is Dutch (my awesome dog I got 3 days before Mark passed away) he has become increasingly more territorial and it became apparent yesterday that he could no longer live with us. After some debate Howard and Ricky Hoftyzer said that they would take him to the farm to try and give him a second chance. I’m very, very grateful to them for this, I wasn’t prepared to put Dutch down 98% of the time he is still a great dog but that 2% is just too much of a chance in the city.
So as you can see this has been a hard week for me, I would covet your prayers for the remainder of the week and will post a follow up as soon as I can.
03 September 2009
By Amber
In Thoughts on Thursdays
I stole this I admit it….lol. Its from a book that everyone in the world has recomended to me and I have yet to read. I was doing some reserch on it and found this on the web site. I liked it so I thought I would share.
Making Marriage Work: It doesn’t have to feel like a chore
Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in “English”, if your spouse understands only “Chinese”, you will never understand how to love each other.
Marriage Myth: Married life is unhappy life.
Fact: Studies show that married people have better emotional and physical health, longer lives, greater sexual satisfaction, greater incomes, and more accumulated wealth.
The Five Love Languages
Being sincere is not enough. We must be willing to learn our spouse’s primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love.
My conclusion after thirty years of marriage counseling is that there are basically five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. However, there may be numerous dialects. The important thing is to speak the love language of your spouse.
Communicating love isn’t as easy as feeling “in love,” because it’s quite a different thing. Falling in love is not an act of the will or a conscious choice. It’s effortless. One who is “in love” is not genuinely interested in fostering the personal growth of the other person. If the euphoric pleasure of being “in love” never ended, we might never experience true love and meaningful communication.
Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself. Most of us do many things each day that do not come “naturally” for us. For some of us, that is getting out of bed in the morning. We go against our feelings and get out of bed because we believe there is something worthwhile to do that day. And normally, before the day is over, we feel good about having gotten up. Our actions preceded our emotions.
The same is true with love. We discover the primary love language of our spouse, and we choose to speak it whether or not it is natural for us. You might not love the language itself, but speaking it will clearly communicate love to your spouse.
Love is a choice. And either partner can start the process today.
