I’m sure I’ve spoken about this general topic before but looking through pages and pages of TOT posts I just couldn’t find it. I did however find my first ever TOT post from Aug of 2009 back when I wasn’t blogging that often and didn’t even check my spelling…eek, I’m NOT a great speller.
Throughout any marriage there will be a number of small and large decisions, many of which we will make day to day without even thinking about it. However there are those ‘big’ decisions that need to be discussed, money, savings, children, jobs, moving, etc. These all seem so obvious when your looking at them on paper but things get overlooked assumptions are made and big decisions are made without agreement all the time.
Here is an easy example, one of you is in charge of the bills, its not unusual for that person to be a little more concerned about the budget and such because they are the one watching the money go in and out all the time. However it is easy for them to just decide to put a little more money in savings each month, or to see that the bills are high this month and not contribute the regular amount. Both of these seem pretty benign but when it happens once it will probably happen again, and again until you have a new habit of either saving more or probably more often not saving at all. Neither of these decisions should be made with out your spouses concent.
I’m not saying it always has to be a long drawn out sit down conversation. Mac and I do some of our best ‘discusions’ when we are out for dinner or when we are in the car. Not sure why but it might have something to do with less distractions like I talked about last week.
So before a big decision is made, even one with baby steps leading up to it, make sure you make the decision together.