Don’t forget about my neacklace giveaway that is up till 8/17!
I’m so sad the Olympics are over (ok not for me I still have lots on DVR but hey) so I thought I would take a break for a week from talking about running and such and would share a few things I’ve learned from the Olympics this year.
Never Discredit something you know nothing about
I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen synchronized swimming before, but I watched 2 duets and then quite a few team performances this year. Umm wow! Its not a new favorite sport by any means but I had no idea what they could do. I don’t think I could tread water for 2 min straight let alone do all that they do. Just one example the lifts and throws they do, all with out touching the bottom of the pool, check them out above.
If you put your mind to it you really can do anything.
This is double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius trading race bibs with Kirani James, the winner of that heat. Umm wow, who would imagine that not only would a double-amputee qualify for the Olympics let along make it all the way to the semi-finals in the 400m and the finals in the 4×400. Then again maybe my imagination is too small. For more about him click here. PS the Sign Language Interpreter in me loved the gesturing that happened between the two runners before the bib exchange.
When you play a team sport, its not about you.
“Its not about me, its about these 3 letters on my chest.” -LeBron James Enough Said.
As a Nation we focus on the negative too much.
I was incredibly bummed for Jordan when she didn’t make the all around competition because of the new rule. But what was even more disappointing was that in the days after all of the coverage was about how Jordan was cheated out of the all around and not how Aly made it I wish Aly could have seen people excited for her nationally.
I have a problem, I want to be tough I want to be as strong as everyone thought I was when Mark was sick. I want Mac to be proud of me and not worry that I’m ok all the time. But the truth is that since Mark passed away and a few things happened right before Mac and I got married, I’m not who I was before…. I cry easier (which for some of you might sound crazy because I’ve always been a crier.) I get stressed out faster, I’m a major homebody now and I need to have my week planned out…. Alot of these things drive me crazy, but its just who I am now.
I’m learning to accept that, but more than that I’m learning to be open with Mac. I was/am scared to show my emotions, I’m scared to death of someone thinking I’m ‘broken’ (my words no one as actually ever said that to me) because I’m over emotional. I don’t want to cry when I get bad news for fear that in an effort to protect me Mac won’t tell me things. But as he keeps pointing out, and I’m so slow to learn, that isn’t right.
I need to be vulnerable with my spouse, I need to let him know when I’m stressed out, I need to be able to cry when I’m upset, He is the one person in this would I should be able to do this with without fear (parents are a close second.) The fact is, if I have a brief burst of emotion (anger, fear, crying whatever) then I can process it, work through it and move on faster. If I try to hide my emotions, then I don’t deal with it at all and it becomes a much bigger deal.
What about you? Do you struggle with being vulnerable with you spouse? Please tell me I’m not the only one.
A lot of sitcoms these days are awful, funny, and entertaining yes, but as far as learning lifes lessons like we did from Family Matters and Full House umm no.
One of the worst things in my opinion is how they portray marriages. Yeah I’ll just stop myself right there I could go on for a while. However I’ve been watching a new show and generaly speaking their portral of marriage is great. Then smack in the middle of a silly episode I hear this gem of a quote:
“I understand, those are your feelings and you have every right to them.” ~Mike from Last Man Standing season 1 Episode 15 “House of Spirits” (15:45)
They were said genuinly and without judgment it was honestly to me it was amazing.
Lets face it boys and girls are different (if you haven’t figure that out by now…) we process differently have different emotions and try to problem solve differently. We need to accept those differences as part of a good relationship.
I know my husband means good when he tries to ‘fix’ my emotions/problems/whatever. But sometimes I don’t need something fixed maybe it can’t be fixed I just need someone to validate my feelings. I know sometimes he dosen’t understand my fears when for all practical pourposes they are irrational. But I love that 99% of the time he accepts them anyway because they are mine.
He is still learning how to show that acceptance but I know that is what he is trying to do when he is ‘fixing things’ I honestly wish people, not just married people,around the world would learn from this little quote above. You don’t have to get it, you just need to know that is affecting them and that makes those emotions valid, no matter how irrational
On the other hand I as the girl in this relationship need to understand that he just isn’t going to get somethings the way I do and when he is trying to help/fix/whatever that is his way of trying to validate my emotions. This like everyother part of a relationship is a two way street.
I strongly believe that faith and Marriage are interlinked in such a way that they can not be separated. Recently with my control struggles this has become very clear to me once again.
As I talked about last week in my Issac post, I’m putting a lot of pressure on myself. I want to take care of everything on my own so that Mac doesn’t have to and well I can’t. I can’t do it all. But I still don’t want to give up the reigns. I don’t know how, and now I’m lost in this cycle. I try to give up control of things, but then for some reason or another it doesn’t work out and I just pick it up again. I don’t know how to break this cycle and I need to I need to for my marriage, for my sanity, and for my faith.
Its like I’m stuck in caretaker mode, I can’t stop the drive to make things better for Mac even when the only thing wrong is ‘me.’ The pressure I’m putting on myself, to be the perfect wife, with the perfect house. There is no pressure from Mac for either of these things. In fact he wants to help, but I don’t really let him. Its ridiculous really and I know that. But I can’t change it on my own.
I need to be willing to give up control not only to God (as we discussed in Issac) but to my husband. This isn’t just a surface level between me and the hubby thing. This is a faith thing. Because I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to start. I just need to keep having faith that God will guide me through. I need to keep praying this prayer I found in “When I lay my Issac Down: Unshakable faith in Unthinkable Circumstances” by Carol Kent
“So God, I will let go of my control for the next minute, and if I make it that far, let’s try for five more minutes, and maybe there will be a time when I will come to the end of one full day.”
I guess figuring out what the problem is, is the start. So now what God? Where do I go from here? Guess I better keep praying that prayer.
I’m not a Mom.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t tried to be, and while I’m ok with it for now I know there are lots of Women out there who aren’t. Secretly their heart breaks when they hear their friend who ‘wasn’t trying’ is pregnant. Mothers Day hurts and they don’t even want to go to Church for fear that they will start crying during the Mom’s recognition.
I remember these feelings, I remember skipping Church, I remember hearing that my best friends sister was pregnant, VERY unexpectedly and thinking NOT FAIR! I remember wanting a child so badly with Mark so I would have a memory, but it didn’t happen. I trust that this is best, that God knows what he is doing and now I see that having a child right now would have been even more hard than I could have imagined.
Now I have new fears, I fear that I was the reason we couldn’t get pregnant ( there is supporting evidence but it could have all been stress related.) I fear that I will never be able to function ‘normally’ with out anti-depressiants and therefore not even be able to try and get pregnant. I fear about money, and this crazy world we live in.
But as always I still have hope, I know that God knows what he is doing. I know that Mac and I have talked about adoption and are both excited about the idea.
I’m not asking you to stop celebrating Mothers, not at all. In fact I will be celebrating it myself with my MIL. But I’m asking you to be aware that there are about 10% of us out there who despite their and doctors best efforts can’t be a Mom and this is a very hard time of year for them.
PS for now I’m very happy with my Fur Toddler Cooper