A lot of sitcoms these days are awful, funny, and entertaining yes, but as far as learning lifes lessons like we did from Family Matters and Full House umm no.

One of the worst things in my opinion is how they portray marriages. Yeah I’ll just stop myself right there I could go on for a while. However I’ve been watching a new show and generaly speaking their portral of marriage is great. Then smack in the middle of a silly episode I hear this gem of a quote:

“I understand, those are your feelings and you have every right to them.” ~Mike from Last Man Standing season 1 Episode 15 “House of Spirits” (15:45)

They were said genuinly and without judgment it was honestly to me it was amazing.

Lets face it boys and girls are different (if you haven’t figure that out by now…) we process differently have different emotions and try to problem solve differently. We need to accept those differences as part of a good relationship.

I know my husband means good when he tries to ‘fix’ my emotions/problems/whatever. But sometimes I don’t need something fixed maybe it can’t be fixed I just need someone to validate my feelings. I know sometimes he dosen’t understand my fears when for all practical pourposes they are irrational. But I love that 99% of the time he accepts them anyway because they are mine.

He is still learning how to show that acceptance but I know that is what he is trying to do when he is ‘fixing things’ I honestly wish people, not just married people,around the world would learn from this little quote above. You don’t have to get it, you just need to know that is affecting them and that makes those emotions valid, no matter how irrational

On the other hand I as the girl in this relationship need to understand that he just isn’t going to get somethings the way I do and when he is trying to help/fix/whatever that is his way of trying to validate my emotions. This like everyother part of a relationship is a two way street.

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Lessons, Life, Thoughts on Thursday

Welcome to the Husband Challenge Linky Party!

How do I join?

Just write a post on your blog about what you appreciate about your husband/fiance/heck even boy-friend. Then come back here and copy and paste the link into the form below (very bottom of the post.) If you don’t have a blog that’s cool, leave a comment and let me know the same thing! Oh and here is the button to add to your posts.

What I love about Mac this month is his ability to have fun.

Something I personally struggle with is the need to do, fix, and clean everything right now. If there is anything left undone I have a hard time relaxing or doing anything for fun on my own. If I have something planned with another person then its a commitment and that is different for some reason…Anyway Mac understands the need for rest, fun and taking breaks. Its something I’ve struggled with honestly. In the past I’ve looked at it as being lazy at times. But now I realize that:

1. He helps out around the house plenty easily doing his ‘fair share” I even talked about that in my last husband challenge.
2. I don’t take breaks, I get down on myself if I do…

So after 2 years of  us going back and forth on this it finally hit me, the problem isn’t him taking breaks its that I don’t! I don’t relax hardly ever, even when we are watching TV I’m on my laptop doing something that ‘must be done right now’ at least in my mind.

Mac’s constant example and insistence that breaks are helpful and good for you finally got through to me. This weekend I worked on a curtain project for my father in law that has been put off for far too long. I finished the first of two curtains and then ran out of matching thread. Instead of going and buying more right away I decided to make that cute blanket for Cooper that I showed you on Monday.  It was quick so I could get back to the ‘real work’ but it was fun and every time I see it around the house it makes me smile.

I might have to try this fun thing more often

Your Turn!

Please tell your friends about this event, I would honestly like to start a ‘blog movment’ of looking for the good in those we love and appreciating them openly.

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Husband Challenge, Thoughts on Thursday

I’m not sure if its the drastic weather change, a hormone thing or what but the last two weeks have been very hard for me emotionally and Mac has noticed. I’m on edge, snippy, very sensitive and easily angered for no good reason. Right there is the problem, there is no obvious reason why. That makes it really hard for both of us, as frustrating as it is for me I know Mac feels bad too. He doesn’t know how to help and I don’t know what to tell him. Monday I had a pretty major breakdown he just hugged me listened and waited. We did narrow down one of my delimas (to be discussed another day on here.) But we still couldn’t figure out the why.

My point today is sometimes there is no clear way to help something get better, there is not a ‘fix’ per sea. All you can do is stand beside the one you love and hope and pray it all works out. Prayer is one of the best things you can do, pray, hug repeat.

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Pray, Thoughts on Thursday

So Mac and I don’t have kids just yet, only a puppy who sometimes he feels like a kid….Anyway, its easy for us to be so busy we don’t see each other one week and then we feel bad so the next week all we do is stay home and hang out. This means I don’t go to the gym, he doesn’t get any guy time and we both end up a little sick of each other.

A lot of marriage is about balance but this is one of the areas where a lot of people struggle. We need to make sure we have enough time with each other to keep our marriage strong, but there are also very good reasons for time apart. Time with the girls (or guys) is needed. Face it as well as your spouse knows you sometimes you just need some time with someone who really gets being a girl right? How about exercise? As long as its not hours long daily this is a good thing. Exercise helps with health, mood, and has many more that benefits for your marriage. There are  more good reasons to be apart but I’m sure you get my point. Balance is everything.

Amber

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Thoughts on Thursday